What if: Illustrator, Affinity Designer and Inkscape had a conversation (today)?
Adobe Illustrator: lounging in a designer chair “Well, well, well… look who’s here. Inkscape and Affinity Designer. I hope you two brought your A-game, but let’s be honest—no one really outshines the king of vector design.”
Inkscape: laughs “King? Please, Adobe. You’re more like the overpriced royal palace that’s always under construction. People can’t even use you without emptying their wallets! I may be free, but I get the job done just as well, and with no subscription, thank you very much.”
Affinity Designer: leans in “Overpriced and slow, might I add. Ever heard of ‘fast’? Yeah, that’s me. One-time purchase, and boom, all the power of Illustrator without the monthly handcuff payments. And did I mention I’m smooth as butter?”
Adobe Illustrator: scoffs “Smooth as butter? Please. You’re like margarine trying to pass as the real thing. I’ve got decades of experience, industry-standard features, and plugins that can turn your little interface into a masterpiece.”
Inkscape: smirking “Yeah, well, not everyone has a thousand dollars to spend on ‘experience’. I’ve got all the vector tools anyone needs, and I’m open-source! You know what that means? Customization, flexibility, and no corporate overlords breathing down your neck.”
Affinity Designer: nodding “That’s right! And I can switch between raster and vector seamlessly. Who else can say that? I’m basically the multitasking genius here. Plus, ever heard of iPad? I’m rocking that too!”
Adobe Illustrator: rolls eyes “Oh, please. My iPad version was first, thank you. And my features are so advanced, people are practically writing books about me. You both are just… alternatives. You know, like those generic brands at the store that people buy when they’re on a budget.”
Inkscape: grinning “And proud of it! We save wallets and still make great art. Plus, I’ve got a dedicated community that keeps improving me—for free.”
Affinity Designer: grins “And I’m the perfect middle ground—no subscription, but still polished. People love me for my speed, intuitive interface, and powerful features without that cloud nonsense. Speaking of which, Adobe, how’s that Creative Cloud treating you? Bet your users love having to rely on an internet connection.”
Adobe Illustrator: glares “Hey, the Cloud is where the future is! Seamless updates, storage, collaboration—people pay for that level of convenience. I’m practically a service. My users are pros who understand quality.”
Inkscape: snorts “You mean pay for features they sometimes don’t need and updates that break things? Yeah, sounds convenient…”
Affinity Designer: chuckling “And the best part? I’m not sucking up anyone’s bandwidth for a ‘cloud’ every five minutes. Offline and reliable. No weird monthly fees. It’s all right there in your hands—forever.”
Adobe Illustrator: “Forever? Forever sounds so… outdated. I’m all about that cutting-edge, ever-evolving vibe. People want the latest, the greatest, and I deliver that on a constant basis.”
Inkscape: “Yeah, people also want their left kidney intact after paying for a subscription. Meanwhile, I keep getting new features, supported by a community, not a credit card.”
Affinity Designer: grinning “Exactly! People like me because I’m a one-time deal. I’m not out here holding anyone’s creativity hostage. You buy me once, and I deliver without any surprises.”
Adobe Illustrator: sighs dramatically “Ugh, you two just don’t get it. When you’re the industry standard, people expect more. They need a powerhouse like me, not some… free app or ‘affordable alternative.’”
Inkscape: shrugs “Whatever, man. I might not be the fanciest, but I get the job done. And the people who use me? They’re all about that open-source life. Creative freedom.”
Affinity Designer: smiling “Well, Adobe, while you’re out there charging for your ‘power,’ I’ll be here, empowering designers without the baggage. Fast, affordable, and powerful. That’s me.”
Adobe Illustrator: grumbling “Enjoy your little victory speeches while you can. I’ll be over here… innovating.”
The end. ❤
